Hello faithful readers,
I’m still on the run from the Illuminati with Chris, my trusty dolphin companion sewn into my back. He says hello.
I’m posting from a secret location next door to Alex Jones’ Infowars studio in Austin, Texas. My predicament is so dangerous at the moment that I don’t know whether I’ll live through the next 5 minutes. Nevermind if this website will be here tomorrow. Dark forces have taken it down twice already.
To safeguard all the secret knowledge I am discovering (the revelations will blow your mind) on my adventures with Chris The Dolphin, I’ve decided to publish a weekly ebook and distributed it through Amazon.
This way millions of people will be able to download the book and a new age of freedom will dawn for mankind.
The first episode is called ‘The Dolphin Death Room’ and is part one of ‘The Barry Chronicles’ Get it here
Each week, if I haven't been erased from history, I will update with another instalment
Truth should always be free so from 00.00 GMT Tuesday 5th Feb 2018 to Saturday 10th Feb 2018 'The Dolphin Death Room' will be FREE to download and then priced at $0.99 (the cheapest Amazon will allow)
You can read it on your tablet, mobile phone, computer or any device that has the Kindle App. Click on the book title above to go directly to the Kindle store HERE
I’ve got to go now. Chris, my dolphin companion, is saying that there is a Flying Illuminati pyramid in the area and it has detected our transmission.
Over & Out
Plain country living
After my appeal for help earlier this week after I discovered I’m on an Illuminati hit list I’ve been moved by all the offers.
Moved to never give out any money again—only two people offered me sanctuary during this time of great danger. But God Bless the two that did, they will receive their Bit Coins shortly.
I’m now holed up on a farm in the American mid west with my butler Ivan.
I won’t say precisely where (and i’m posting this from a signal that is being routed through 23 proxies and bounced off Alex Jones’ head) but Olney, Illinois has a very nice diner where the good folks of the town meet to discuss the day.
I think they were a bit shocked when I walked in. Maybe it was my Karl Lagerfeld suit or that i ordered a vegan breakfast or that Ivan spoon fed me every last morsel. But it soon settled down.
When I left I tipped the waitress 10K USD and she decided there and then to come work for me. A couple of families that saw me give me the small tip, invited me to dinner this evening.
Seems they are some good folks left in the world!
But the Illuminati still loom and I’m a moment ago I could hear one of them scuttling around in the back yard. I’m sending Ivan out to have a look and will report back later….
PS To the Illuminati who hacked the blog. there aren’t any WH Smiths in southern Illinois! They can’t even read here here! Let alone have newstands. Haven’t thought your cunning plan through have you?
Greetings from the beautiful state of Nebraska! Go corn Huskers Go!
I am what you might term a ‘cat lady’. I know it is meant as an unkind term, but I cannot deny the truth of it—i am a lady who is into cats. In fact some might say my feline affection goes too far. My Ex-Husband Bob thought so when he came home early from his manager’s job at the Dairy Queen in Lincoln and caught me in bed having ‘relations’ with a ginger tom and a tawny tabby I’d picked up from the pet rescue.
I’ve since stopped my alley catting ways (plus the pet rescue took out a restraining order) and am now ready to settle down with a handsome Burmese cat, Mr Binky I found living in a dumpster. Trouble is in the United States human cat marriage is not legal. So I need a couple of million to lobby my local congressman to try and get a law passed in Washington. Please help love find a way, Barry.
If you don’t help. GO F*CK YOURSELF!
We can learn so much...
Good day Mr Derbyshire,
I don’t know why but I get the feeling that you have a keen interest in ornithology or bird-watching as it is known to the layman, so i know you will look kindly at my funding proposal.
For many years i’ve been, like Dr Dolittle, talking to the animals. The most communicative of the animal kingdom in my research have been the birds, specifically, the Robins.
I can’t count the number of conversations I’ve had with them. They have very long memories (they pass them down father to son) so they can remember the Civil War and even the first Thanksgiving!
One even told me how his great great great great great grandad was there when Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas!
Problem is, not only are they a little bit deaf, but they don’t understand my questions so well. But i’ve invented a megaphone device that enables the red breasted creatures to both understand and hear me. I’ve made three so far but want to scale it up to become the Uber of the bird talking world!
This could really be the goose that lays the golden egg! So send me a couple of million minimum!
Buddy J Mattes
Need research funds
I have been conducting a series of experiments with self driving cars in South London. As i’m sure you’ll agree whoever cracks this will make untold billions supplying vehicles to the likes of Uber, Amazon and the major car makers.
Alas, my experiments so far have proved disastrous. This is mainly because instead of guiding the cars by a computer aided navigational system, I have been using the power of will alone.
Now, as anyone who knows me knows, I have an extremely strong will. But it has not strong been enough to stop my experiments from crashing into a) A lampost in Kennington, B) the lido at Brockwell Park and c) a a group of doggers on Clapham Common.
So I ask for you to invest some funds so I can design my own navigational technology. I’ve done some research and reckon I could get by with a TomTom Sat Nav, an old mop and a roll of knitting yarn. 400 quid should do it.
Hope to hear from you soon.