Articles tagged with: invention

Angry Tower

Angry Tower

Hi Barry,

As you may have noticed there is a lot of anger in the world these days. Many folks are worried about all the tension and outrage that is floating on the air.

I am not.

In fact I am very excited. Why you ask?

 Because I have after many years of intense research discovered the secret to harvesting  and converting atmospheric human emotion to electricity.

I can’t give away any secrets but basically I place my angry antenna somewhere high and it picks up all the bad vibes floating across the atmosphere.  It then runs from there to a set of re-chargable lithium batteries where it is stored till needed.

The angrier people are the quicker the quicker the batteries fill up.

Think of it, everytime you have a shouting match with a loved one, or a social media battle my angry antenna will pick it up and generate power. It could change the world.

Angry at Donald Trump? You’ve just helped a hospital run its lights for a week.  Angry at Hilary Clinton? Your rage has helped power a water well in the Sudan. Stubbed your toe? An cat orphanage in Argentina X Ray machine will work.

So what do i want from you? My invention works but I now need funds to buy Nikolai Tesla’s old lab at Wardencliffe, New York.

Here I will erect a three thousand foot tall tower to harvest the pissed off energy of New York City.

But the area it can pick up may even reach to Quebec — think of all the anger flowing from French Canadians made to speak English)

I think it’s only fitting that i should unveil to the world my discovery at such a hallowed place in suppressed innovation. And once they see it soon Angry Towers will be all over the world

I won’t lie, it will be expensive, 40 million dollars but it’s a small price to pay to change the world.

I know you will do what is right,

Best,

Montrose Patrick Ellen