Demon in my Hotpoint
I’ll come straight to the point. One of my home appliances has been invaded by supernatural entities who are terrorising my family and making my life a living hell!
It began when my youngest son Nicholas tried to clean his pet chicken in the washing machine. The poor bird was killed but its blood sacrifice meant a demon was able to take up residence inside our Bosch washer dryer (which incidentally we got it on a really good deal from John Lewis).
Since then all the families clothes have smelt of sulphur and my kids go to school smelling of rotten eggs. To be fair, drying is a lot quicker now with the machine being powered by the fires of hell (but get the timing wrong and the kid’s PE kits are reduced to ashes)
I’ve contacted a ‘White Goods Witch’ through Gumtree who says she can get rid of the demon for 50K in cash. Could you please forward me the money so I can instruct her to send this spin cycle spirit back where it came from.
Though thinking about it, it could be cheaper to buy a new washing machine. So could you send a grand for that please as well.