• Home
  • Begs
  • WHO CAN I TRUST WHEN I’M REACHING OUT FOR HELP?

WHO CAN I TRUST WHEN I’M REACHING OUT FOR HELP?

How do I regain my self-respect – my pride?

I AM LOST WITHOUT ANY DIRECTION IN LIFE AND I NEVER WANT TO RELY ON A MAN TO KEEP ME SAFE I AM UNABLE TO TRUST FOR NOW ANOTHER MAN I LET A MAN TAKE EVERYTHING WITHIN ME LEFT ME WITH A EMPTY SOUL I AM REGAINING IT SLOWLY BUT NOW I NEED HELP TO GET MY OWN HOUSE WERE I CAN CALL I MY HOME NO ONE ELSES. MY EX KICKED ME OUT AND CHANGED THE LOCKS ON THE DOORS SO I WAS UNABLE TO GET INTO THE HOUSE IT TOOK OVER A MONTH TO GET MY THINGS OUT OF THE HOUSE BUT FINALLY DID BUT I AM STAYING WITH MY SISTER AND HER COMMON LAW BUT HE IS CONTROLING AND SOMEWHAT ABUSIVE MAYBE IT IS JUST ME BUT DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE OR SAFE HERE MOST OF THE TIME I AM IN THE BASEMENT ONLY GO UP FOR SOMETHING TO EAT AND GO TO THE WASHROOM. I AM GOING TO COPY AND PASTE FROM MY DIARY.
 
I AM GIVING A TOTAL PICTURE FOR YOU WHO LUIS ALVES IS: NOW TO THE OTHERS PARTS OF LUIS WHICH YOU HAVE TO BE AWARE OF, HE IS VERY CONTROLING AND ABUSIVE , BOTH EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL, WHEN I MOVED IN HE WAS OF COURSE NICE AS PIE, I HAD MONEY AT THAT TIME AND THOUGHT OK WELL WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A LIFE TOGETHR SO BOUGHT GROCERIES MOST OF THE TIME AND BOUGHT OUTSIDE PAINT AND PUT UP A NEW FENCE IN BACKYARD AND BOUGHT A TRUCK TOGETHER AND I BOUGHT A NEW STEREO FOR IT AND THEN MY EX HUSBAND WAS HELPING ME OUT BUT SAID NO MORE BECAUSE I WAS LIVING WITH LUIS ALVES AND THE HELP STOPPED SO ONCE THAT HAPPENED THEN THINGS STARTED TO CHANGE IN LUIS, HE WOULD NOT GIVE ME MUCH MONEY AT ALL LETS SAY MAYBE IF LUCKY 50 DOLLARS A MONTH IF THAT. THEN LATER ON A TANK OF GAS WOULD HAVE TO LAST ME FOR 2 WEEKS, THEN TOLD ME THAT I COULD NOT HAVE ANY OF MY FRIENDS OVER AND CALLED ME NAMES LIKE CUNT, BITCH, UGLY, FAT. ALSO, ISOLATED ME OR TRIED TOO, BY NOT GIVING ME ANY MONEY TO DO ANYTHING BUT MY SISTER WORKS AT SAFEWAY SO SHE WOULD BUY MOST OF THE TIME THE COFFEE AND WE WOULD HAVE COFFEE IN THE CAR AND TALK ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME, THEN THE WORST THING IS WHEN I SUSTAINED MY HEAD INJURY AND I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WHEN I WAS IN BED BECAUSE I KEPT THROWING UP SO I
ASKED LUIS TO PHONE 911 AND HE SAID HE DID NOT KNOW HOW TOO, SO I HAD TO PHONE BUT CANNOT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I SAID BUT THEY CAME AND HELPED ME DOWN THE STAIRS AND THINK THE STRETCHER WAS OUTSIDE AND WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A WEEK, BUT I FEEL LIKE HE WANTED ME TO DIE BY SAYING WHAT HE SAID. THEN ONCE I GOT HOME HE WANTED SEX THAT NIGHT AND CANNNOT REMEMBER TOO MUCH DO THAT THEY GAVE ME SOME PAIN KILLERS TO TAKE THEN ABOUT A WEEK AFTER GETTING HOME HE WAS UPSET AT ME AND PUSHED ME OUT OF THE WAY I AM OK BECAUSE DID NOT HIT MY HEAD BUT IF THAT WOULD OF HAPPENED IT WOULD OF NOT BEEN GOOD THEY WARNED ME TO BE CAREFUL. THEN AFTER THAT HE STARTED TO PUNCH DOORS AND MORE CONTROLLING AND HE ALWAYS SAID TO ME THAT IT WAS MY FAULT IS TO WHY HE WOULD PUNCH THE DOORS AND ALWAYS THREATENED ME BY SAYING HE WAS IN THE ARMY IN PORTUGAL AND WAS TAUGHT TO KILL A PERSON AND IT WOULD ONLY TAKE ONE PUNCH TO KILL ME. THERE WERE MANY TIMES WERE I HAD BRUISES ON MY ARMS AND SOMETIMES ON MY NECK OR CHEST AREA AND ON LEGS TOO, BUT ALWAYS SAID IT WAS MY FAULT FOR GETTING HIM MAD AND MY FRIENDS DID SEE THEM BUT I ALWAYS SAID I BUMPED INTO SOMETHING BUT THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE BECAUSE OF THE TYPE OF BRUISING WHICH ONLY FINGERS LEAVE. THEN THERE WAS A TIME WERE I ASKED HIM TO GO AND SLEEP IN THE OTHER ROOM AND I SAID TO GO AND TRIED TO NUDGE HIM TO GO AND THEN HE GOT UP AND TWISTED MY ANKLE SO HARD THAT I THOUGHT HE HURT IT SO WENT TO THE HOSPITAL TO GET A XRAY AND IT WAS FINE WENT TO ST.PAULS HOSPITAL AND IT WAS DOCUMENTED TOLD THEM WHAT HAPPENED AND ALSO MY SON WAS THERE TOO , ALSO THERE WAS A TIME WERE I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND I TOLD HIM WAS NOT FEELING WELL BUT HE WOULD NOT DRIVE ME SO DROVE MYSELF TO ST.PAULS HOSPITAL AND THEY DID TREATED IT LIKE A HEART ATTACK, GAVE ME BLOOD THINNERS IN THE STOMACH AREA AND GAVE ME ASPIRIN AND WAS ON OXGEN AND HEART MONITOR AND CAME IN AND DID A EKG AND THEN TOOK ME FOR A CAT SCAN WERE THEY FOUND I HAD FLUID ON MY LEFT LUNG SO IT WAS PUSHING ON MY HEART SO AFTER ALL OF THAT LUIS HAD TO COME AND PICK UP MY CAR BY TAKING A TAXI TO GET IT. STAYED IN HOSPITAL FOR A FEW DAYS AND THEN WENT HOME. SORRY IF I AM GOING ALL OVER THE PLACE JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU A WHOLE PICTURE OF WHOM HE IS. THEN HIS BROTHER CAME FROM PORTUGAL , I KNEW A BIT ABOUT HIM BEFORE HE CAME HERE THAT HE GOT HIS NIECE PREGNANT IN PORTUGAL WHICH TOOK ME FOR A LOOP BUT I WAS TOLD ABOUT IT, BUT ONCE HE GOT HERE I SAW TRACKS MARKS ON BOTH ARMS IN THE OUTSIDE AND FOREARMS, AND THE SECOND DAY HE WAS SITTING THERE AND I JUST ASKED HIM AND HE DID SAY YES BUT DID NOT TELL ME WHAT SORT OF DRUGS HE WAS PUTTING INTO HIS ARMS, THAT WAS NOT EVER TOLD TO ME AND HE BROUGHT DRUGS WITH HIM TO KEEP HIS ADDICTION OR WITHDRAWALS AT A LEVEL SO HE WOULD TAKE THEM AND DRINK ON TOP OF IT AND I SAID TO LUIS THAT HE IS TRYING TO SELF MEDICATE HIMSELF BUT OF COURSE LUIS DID NOT 
BELIEVE ME AND THEN THINGS JUST FROM WORSE TO HORRIBLE WHILE HE WAS HERE, LUIS BROTHER PETER WAS WORKING WHILE VISITING UNDER LUIS’S NAME AND WORKING FOR CITY MASONARY WHILE LUIS WAS WORKING FOR DECORA HOMES SO HE WOULD CASH PETER’S CHEQUES AND GIVE HIM THE MONEY, THEN I WAS TOLD TO SEE IF I COULD GET HIM A EXTENTION ON HIS VISITING VISA SO APPLIED FOR IT AND WAS WAITING, THEN IS VISA EXPIRED BUT PHONED IMMIGRATION AND THEY SAID IT WILL BE OK TILL HE EITHER GET APPROVAL OR DENIAL, SO I RECEIVED THE LETTER OF DENIAL AND TOLD LUIS AND THEN SHIT STARTED TO FLY, SO I PHONED IMMIGRATION TO SEE
WHY THEY GAVE ME DIFFERENT THINGS EVERYTIME, SO ANYWAYS CITY MASONARY SET UP A MEETING WITH A IMMIGRATION CONSULTANT SO I HAD TO DRIVE HIM THERE AND THEY WERE GOING TO APPLY FOR A TEMPORARY CITIZEN CARD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT THEN PETER SAID OK, AT THAT TIME I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING AND TOLD THEM WHAT IMMIGRATION SAID TO ME “HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID” THEN THEY ASKED IF HE HAD ANY CRIMMANAL ACTIVITY IN PORTUGAL AND HE SAID YES SO THEY TOLD HIM THEY COULD NOT DO ANYTHING FOR HIM BECAUSE OF THAT, SO AFTER THAT THEN I PHONED IMMIGRATION AGAIN AND THE LADY TOLD ME ALL HE HAS TO DO IS GO BACK TO PORTUGAL FOR 24 HOURS AND HE COULD RETURN SO LUIS BOUGHT HIM A TICKET AND HE WENT BACK AND THEN CAME AGAIN BUT FOR SOME REASON LUIS DID NOT GET A CALL FROM PETER YET SO I PHONED TORONTO AIRPORT AND TALKED TO THE IMMIGRATION OFFICER WHO TOLD ME HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO COME BACK TO CANADA BECAUSE HE DID NOT GO BACK WHEN IS VISITING VISA EXPIRED SO I WENT DOWN STAIRS TO TELL LUIS WHAT HAPPENED AND HE GOT MAD AT ME BECAUSE I DID NOT PHONE IN FRONT OF HIM SO THEN I REDIALED THE NUMBR AND PUT IT ON SPEAKER PHONE AND THEN SHE EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS DEPORTED FROM THE USA AND LUIS WAS GETTING THE LADY UPSET AT HIM AND THEN ONCE THE PHONE CALL WAS OVER HE BLAMED ME FOR HIS BROTHER GOING BACK IT WAS ALL MY FAULT, HE STILL THINKS THAT. THEN I FOUND OUT THAT HE LIED AT THE CANADIAN EMBASSY IS TO WHY HE WANTED TO COME TO CANADA NOT SURE WHICH ONE IS THE TRUTH OR NOT BUT ONE WAS THAT LUIS WAS DYING AND HE WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM BEFORE HE DIES, AND THE OTHER WAS HIS MOTHER WAS NOT WELL AND BOTH ARE FINE AND NOTHING IS WRONG WITH LUIS OR HIS MOTHER. SO YES THEY ALL LIE FOR EACH OTHERS, AND EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT. WELL THEN HIS MOTHER WAS AND ALSO SISTER INLAW COMING BUT WE HAD A FEW THINGS HAPPEN BEFORE THEN WHICH I TRIED TO OVERCOME JUST BECAUSE HIS MOTHER WAS COMING BUT WHEN SHE GOT HERE WELL I JUST FOUND IT HARD TO EVEN BE MYSELF ANYMORE, EVERY MORNING I WOULD GO FOR MY COFFEE WITH MY SISTER BECAUSE THEY SEEMED TO DO WELL ON THERE OWN DO THAT THEY WERE SORT OF COLD TO ME AND LUIS MOTHER DID NOT SPEAK ANY ENGLISH SO I WOULD ALWAYS COME HOME AND WOULD TRY TO DO THINGS BUT FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO DO SO THEN ONE NIGHT I TOLD LUIS I WAS GOING TO MY FRIENDS PLACE FOR A BIT SO DID THEN I CAME HOME AND HE WAS UPSET AT ME EVEN BEFORE I GOT HOME BECAUSE I PHONED HIM AND HE SAID TO ME THAT I DID NOT LIKE HIS FAMILY SO WHEN I GOT HOME I WENT DOWN STAIRS AND WAS ON MY LAPTOP SO WHAT DOES HE DO HE UNPLUGS THE INTERNET CONNECTION SO THEN I DECIDED TO GO UPSTAIRS JUST REMOVE MYSELF FROM THE SITUATION SO TOOK MY LAPTOP AND MY CELL PHONE UPSTAIRS TO THE BEDROOM THEN HE CAME UP AND TOOK MY CELL PHONE AND I KNEW TO PHONE THE POLICE I GOT THREW BUT THEN HE DISCONNECTED THE PHONE LINE AND I WENT DOWN TO THE KITCHEN AND ASKED HIM TO GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK HE WOULD NOT SO I GRABED HIS FROM HIS WAIST AND WENT UPSTAIRS HE FOLLOWED ME AND I WAS ON THE BED SO HE JUMPED ON TOP OF ME TRYING TO GET HIS PHONE AND THEN IS BROTHER PETER CAME UP AND YELLED AT ME WHAT WAS I DOING TO HIS BROTHER WHILE HE WAS ON TOP OF ME STOMACH FACING DOWN, THEN LUIS GOT OFF ME AND I TOLD PETER WHAT HAPPENED AND THEN PETER SAID TO GIVE HIS BROTHERS PHONE TO HIM AND SAID NO YOU GIVE ME MINE FIRST AND THEN I WILL GIVE YOU HIS SO HE DID THEN LUIS CALLED ME SOMETHING IN PORTUGUESSE AND THEN PUT A HOLE IN THE HALLWAY DOOR. SO THEN THE POLICE CAME AND OF COURSE THEY LIED TO THEM AND IT WAS ALL MY FAULT AGAIN. THERE WAS A ANOTHER ICCIDENT WHEN I WENT TO LAY DOWN AND GOT UP AND LUIS WAS MAKING POPCORN FOR HIM AND HIS BROTHER SO I JUST SAID OH THAT IS SO SWEET YOUR MAKING POPCORN FOR YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AND HE DID NOT SAY NOTHING, SO THEN I WENT DOWN STAIRS TO WATCH T.V AND WAS SITTING ON THE COUCH THEN HE ASKED IS BROTHER IF HE WANTED SOME POPCORN AND HE TOOK SOME AND I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MY BROTHER MORRIS AND LUIS ASKED ME IF I WANTED SOME AND THREW POPCORN AT ME WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE AND CALLED ME NAMES SO LET MY BROTHER GO AND TOOK THE BOWL OF POPCORN AND THREW IT AT HIM DID NOT CALL HIM NAMES JUST STANDING UP FOR MYSELF FINALLY AND THEN I WENT TO GET THE VACUM AND HE GRABED IT FROM ME AND THREW IT AND BROKE THE BEATER BAR SO THEN I DID NOT VACUM WITHOUT THE BEATER BAR HE DID IT WITH THE HOSE ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES THEN HE DID NOT BUY A NEW ONE FOR AT LEAST 3 WEEKS OR MORE SO I COULD NOT EVEN VACUM HE WANTED ME TO VACUM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BUT DID NOT. THERE WAS ANOTHER INCIDENT WERE HE WAS VERY UPSET AND PETER WAS DOWN STAIRS AND WE WERE IN THE KITCHEN AND HE LEFT PRETTY NICE BRUISES ON MY ARMS THESE ONES WERE THE ]BIGGEST ONES LEFT ON ME SO THE OF COURSE PETER DID NOT SEE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED SO I PHONED THE POLICE AND A LADY FROM FAMILY ABUSE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT CAME WITH THE POLICE AND THEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO CHARGE HIM AND AT FIRST DID NOT BUT THEN DECIDED TOO BUT OF COURSE LUIS AND PETER LIED TO THE POLICE BY SAYING TWO DIFFERENT STORIES AND THEN ONCE THE POLICE LEFT THEN LUIS TOLD ME THAT I GOT SOMEONE ELSE TO PUT THOSE BRUISES ON ME AND ALSO TOLD THE NEIGHBOR THE SAME THING WHICH WAS WAY OUT THERE HE PUT THEM ON ME BUT OF COURSE HE DID NOT GET CHARGED, WHEN THAT HAPPENED HE WENT AND BOUGHT ME A WATCH I PUT IT ON FOR 5 MINUTES AND THEN TOOK IT OFF AT THAT POINT I KNEW HE WAS OUT OF CONTROL BY 

 

BUYING A PRESENT TO SAY OH I AM SORRY THIS WILL MAKE IS ALL GOOD, I DID NOT WEAR IT MUCH AFTER THAT JUST REMINDED ME OF THAT DAY. THERE ARE SO MANY INCIDENTS TRYING TO REMEMBER THEM ALL OH YES THERE WAS NIGHT WERE I MADE SUPPER FOR LUIS AND HIS BROTHER PETER, AND THE DAY BEFORE THIS SUPPER LUIS SAID TO ME THAT THE FOOD WAS HIS SO THE FOLLOWING DAY I MADE A ROAST AND POTATOES AND VEGTABLES FOR THEM IN THE SLOW COOKER AND GOT IT READY FOR THEM AND I TOOK SOME CRACKERS AND WENT TO MY BEDROOM AND HE CAME UP AND SAID THAT I HAD TO COME DOWN AND TRY THE FOOD BEFORE THEY WOULD SO I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND SAID WHAT YOU THINK IT IS POISON AND LUIS SAID YEAH SO I TOOK A SCOOP OF VEG IN MY PALM OF MY HAND AND ATE IT AND POTATOES AND MEAT THE SAME WAY AND THEN SAID OK NOW YOU CAN EAT AND I WENT BACK UPSTAIRS, I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT HOW TWISTED HE WAS AND MADE ME FEEL SO HORRIBLE INSIDE WHEN HE BELIEVED I DID SOMETHING TO THE FOOD. ALSO ANOTHER DAY HE FELL ASLEEP WHILE WATCHING TV HE HAD QUITE A BIT TO DRINK BUT THEN HE WOKE UP AND SAID I GAVE HIM SOMETHING BECAUSE HE WAS SLEEPING THAT WAS TOTALLY SCREWED UP NOT SURE WERE THIS MAN GETS HIS IDEAS OR THOUGHTS FROM. THERE WERE TIMES HE WOULD LOCK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AND I WOULD SLEEP IN MY CAR BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW THAT HE DID THIS, HE WOULD PUT A CHAIR AGAINST THE DOOR OF THE HOUSE SO I COULD NOT GET IN SO ONE TIME I SLEPT IN THE CAR WHILE PARKED IN THE DRIVE WAY OF THE HOUSE USE AND OTHER TIMES I WOULD DRIVE EITHER TO FLYING J’S OR HUSKY AND FALL ASLEEP UNTIL MORNING AND THEN GO BACK TO THE HOUSE AFTER HE WENT TO WORK AND GET MORE SLEEP BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME IF I SLEPT IN MY VEHICLE IT WAS NOT A GOOD SLEEP. HE ALWAYS NOW THE WEIRD THING HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING ON THE COMPUTER AND TRYING TO GET INTO HIS BANK ACCOUNT AND HOW COULD I DO THAT I DID NOT KNOW IS PIN NUMBER TO HIS BANK CARD AND I AM NOT SURE WHY OR WHAT MADE HIM THINK THAT MAYBE ONE OF HIS SO CALLED DRUNK FRIENDS WHO CONVINCED HIM OF THIS OR WHAT. HE WOULD ALWAYS SAY OH YOU CAN DO THIS OR THAT BUT THEN HE WOULD ALWAYS BRING IT UP TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, LIKE ALMOST TRYING TO BE KIND BUT THEN TAKING BACK THE KINDNESS WITH HIS MEAN WORDS. HE ALSO WOULD LIE TO HIS FRIENDS ABOUT ME AND MAKE THEM NOT COME OVER BECAUSE HE DID NOT LIKE THAT I TALKED TO THEM AND THEY WOULD TALK NICE TO ME SO HE HAD TO TURN THEM AGAINST ME TO KEEP THEM ON HIS SIDE WHICH I DO NOT THINK I TRIED TO DO AT ANY POINT OR ISOLATE ME MORE BY TELLING ME THAT HIS FRIENDS DID NOT LIKE ME. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR A HOUSE BUT I CANNOT AFFORDIT AT ALL THE HOUSES ARE EXPENSIVE AND ALL I NEED IS FOR SOMEONE TO BUY IT FOR ME AND I WOULD MAKE PAYMENTS LIKE RENT TO OWN AT THIS POINT I COULD AFFORD 500 DOLLARS UNTIL I GET ON MY FEET AND THE HOUSE COSTS 386,900.00 IT IS A FOUR BEDROOM HOUSE WITH A ALARM SYSTEM WICH WOULD MAKE ME FEEL SAFER AND MY SON WOULD BE LIVING WITH ME AND THE OTHER TWO ROOM ARE THERE IF SOMEONE ELSE NEED HELP TO GET OUT OF A SITUATION THAT IS ME WANT SOMEONE TO HELP BUT WANT TO HELP OTHERS AS WELL. MY NAME IS SANDY AGE 47 AND MY SON JOSEPH AGE 22 WOULD BE LIVING IN THE HOUSE I WOULD PAY THE UTILITIES I AM SURE WE CAN AFFORD THAT. I KNOW IT IS ALOT OF MONEY AND I HOPE THAT SOMEONE WILL HELP AND IT WOULD BE SO GREATIFULLY APPRECIATED SORRY FOR MY SPELLING ERRORS JUST TIRED THESE DAYS. THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY EMAIL AND I HOPE MY CHRISTMAS WILL BE FULL OF JOY AND HAPPINESS LIKE OTHERS BUT IT WILL BE HARD BECAUSE NO MONEY AND NO PRESENTS OR DECORATING OF ANY KIND BUT I SUPPOSE I AM ALIVE STILL AND HAVE MY CHILDREN. SANDY

Related Articles

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest. Optional login below.