As I am sure you are more than aware—afterall billionaires are a special kind of person that have access to information ordinary mortals don’t—we are living in the End Times.
And as you know before the final Battle of Judgement begins the Messiah has to return to Earth. I am a very religious person and think the Messiah (when he arrives back) should be greeted by someone like me. Me, in fact.
But as the sacred texts say he will remain hidden for the first 33 years of his life how will I know where to find him, you can't just find a Messiah Detector on Amazon can you? Good question. And I have the answer.
I have discovered in an ancient Circassian book, ‘The Hekiatner’ that vampires are extra-sensitive to the return of Messiahs and are drawn like iron filings to a magnet by the messianic presence. (they also develop a yellow halo when the saviour returns to the Earth)
Obviously I need my own Vampire. I know a couple (one works night shift in a Carls Jnr just outside Sacramento) and they are willing to act as detectors if I put them on a retainer of 50 thousand bucks a year. So come on Barry send the cash and make sure the Messiah gets the welcome he/she/it deserves!