: Begs

Post your begs for Barry's consideration - begging form


it has snowballed


Dear Barry

I went hiking in the wilderness without telling anyone where I was going, and then in a deep, narrow crevice, got my scrotum trapped between a boulder and the canyon wall. I know - painful.

I was there for 128 hours before, delirious and hallucinating, I bit off one of my testicles and spat it out freeing myself from my rocky prison.

Unfortunately my testicle rolled down the mountain gathering snow until it became a giant 1km wide testicle death snowball. It flattened my village at the bottom of the valley, killing my entire family, including Auntie Chiang-chup and my fiancee Tshe-wang, who was pregnant.

I am an upbeat and resilient person and am optimistic that when the snow thaws I will be able to find my missing testicle which should have been preserved in the ice.

I require funding to take my bollock to the big hospital in the city where I am confident it can be reattached and I can find a new woman to impregnate.

I have looked at the prices on the web and bollock reattachment ops are very pricey.

Can you help?


Cars, Planes, Energy Power Plants, Rocket Engines

I have a design for a propulsion device that will revolutionize mankind overnight....

My major problem is that I can not find an investor thats not tied into one of those fields that would be affected when this comes to truition economically.

Its environmentally friendly and doesnt burn oil.

I am offering you 49% of corperation that wil own the patent and copyright of the design.

So in essance i am offering you money 1000 times what you have now if you will have the faith in me.

Please call Charles



Who is have been long held outside wishing

I find one more five dollor item I beg to live inside for the week.

I love it out there, whois in there sitting down.

I walked out of the Hemet Bank with a newspaper blue cellophane wrapping a loan copy: Just as I let in I was let down, so since I was let out I returned a spitfire and calmly rode the seat accross the parking to see laid marble with etched names' Uninterested, the same names' I remembered a small rectangular sign that read EMergenCY.

The Bissle belonging to the landlords' ol tenet for Santa Monica laid it down to me that the garage is 'off limits! I pulled Bissel out into that side room to seal it befine,the first door.ere.

In betwwen is a piece of matching carpet that each carport car owner steps upon to go into the hallway stair well into a downstairs closet that's locked.

That piece of carpet had black oil all over. So I had to mix 1/3 degreeser with tap water all day long to complete begging barry you know.

So after that I placed the big Bissle with a find that I brought from behind Walmart, a couple miles,and blocked the back of the first door.

If my severe action did not gain this E-mail to give 500,000 sheiKles than I beg you barry for five hundred thousands Man.





As the phrase goes 'a picture tells a thousand words' and so does the one next to my beg-thousands of millions of dollars from my new sport 'Midgetball'

I want bore you with the rules or even how the game is played.

i don't need to

this sport has midgets with balls surgically attached to their heads. Which is pretty much what every healthy human on the planet wants from their athletic entertainment.

Lets get this started!


surgery for Gary


Dear Barry

I am in need of some money to help cheer up my dog - Gary Neville, I know it is a funny name for a dog but I am an avid Man U fan.

Gary has not been himself for a number of weeks. I have tried everything to cheer him up, including buying him new clothes and shoes, taking him to expensive restaurants and I have even bought him a Nintendo Wii. Nothing seems to work.

He is really down and I'm at my wits end.

I am thinking that plastic surgery might be the only answer.

I often hear people saying " Ugly dog" and "Ugly fat bitch" when I go to the shops. I think Gary has overheard these comments because dogs have very, very good hearing.

I am fat and ugly myself and so I know how these kind of comments hurt. I was thinking that I could get a plastic surgeon to make him look like the real Gary Neville and then the comments wouldn't be so bad.

Please send €15000 so I can get him fixed up.

If you can't send it let me know and I'll have him killed and get a cat instead.

Thank you