: Begs

Post your begs for Barry's consideration - begging form


SEND ME THE LATEST STUFF

PS4 and maybe iPad

SEND ME THE LATEST STUFF

Greetings Barry I hope you are well and good I live in a small village in Africa and I am proper bored. There really is nothing to do out here it is dull and shit. Me and my friends just have an old wheel and a stick to play with. Hoping you can send us a Playstation 4 system - one each preferably so we can play CoD Some way of generating electricity would be handy and a new bucket for my mother. And iPad for when we get wifi from Mark Zuckerberg.

sincerest Ojiwang

Money to remove Wenger

Losing again

Money to remove Wenger

Hi Barry - this is along shot and I'm not sure if you even like football but Arsene Wenger must go. If you could buy Arsenal Football club you could simultaneously lose a lot of your cash and replace the manager with someone who knows what they are doing maybe - Tony Pulis or Big Sam would be better.

Cheers Piers

REVOLUTIONARY ARAB APP

True cost of removing evil

REVOLUTIONARY ARAB APP

Dear Beggary

Have you ever wondered why we spent millions of billions removing an evil Arab dictor from power.

Yes I have wondered.

With current rolling news mess in our faces, first Egypt, then the other ones. These guys have been doing revolution for less than $1000 - the true cost of removing evil.

I won't mention Lybia or Siriah. Too expensive for my tastes.

Not billions millions. What does it cost. A Facebook account = free. twitter account also free. Maybe some photocopying $250.

Permanent markers. permanent martyrs LOL.

Sticks, stones < free on the sidewalk. maybe some gas for throwing. But whatever you say it don't cost American body bags no more.

I have an idea for an iPhone App - kind of quick start Arab dictor revolution swiss army knife app.

You can set up Facegroup, Twitter angry Arab groups with one click. set you budget, find nearest copy shop and more. Status updates of revolutions in progress would be nice.

Estimate $10000 for dev work.

App would be free download as I don't want to make money out of Arabs but would like to do my bit.

Awaiting your immediate response.

Devon

A CHANCE TO SAVE OUR PLANET

now is the time to act!

A CHANCE TO SAVE OUR PLANET

Dear Barry,

As you are no doubt aware we live in a world that is increasingly beset by environmental problems.

Climate change, crop failure and the ever dwindling carbon based fuel resources show that we are in a lot of trouble and that if we don’t do something soon future generations will be doomed to live with our inaction.

In my own way I had been trying to ‘do my bit’ to help forestall this calamity that faces us.

I switched off my lights when I drove at night, only made essential toilet trips and carry home my groceries in a shopping bag made of hemp and spider’s webs.

But it still felt like I wasn’t doing enough.

Then I hit on a way to make myself totally self-sufficient, a method where I can meet all my energy needs without having to rely on the government grid, and maybe, just maybe give the world a new energy source.

I designed a working prototype myself (I was engineer James Watt in a previous life) and pleased with the results, I installed one for the neighbor’s either side of me.

They both worked perfectly and the neighbors were ecstatic with the results. (Though both are addicted to ecstasy so that could have been their normal state).

The only problem is fuel.

My device is powered by a product and method that is repellent and offensive to many-it runs on the blood of kittens.

At first securing a supply wasn’t a problem-I live with my mum and she is the prototype ‘crazy cat lady’, so I had enough fuel for my experiments.

But soon my mother’s supply ran out and I had to resort to scanning the local craiglist for kittens being given away.

I’m proud to say that even though tempted I never stole any of the neighborhood kittens, though I did find myself at the local canal hoping someone would turn up with a bag of the squirming creatures.

Anyways, I’ve rambled on enough.

What I need is funds to start my own kitten farm.

I envision acres and acres of kittens hooked up to machines providing blood to fuel my machines. This would be more humane than the present method as they would be kept alive rather than having to be killed.

So come on Barry, give generously and let’s save this planet!

Yours truly,

Mr Jonathan Felixstowe