I wrote to you recently about my sighting of Stalin on the moon.
You chose to ignore my warnings and now the situation is even worse.
last night I was staring at the moon and i saw this painted on it. i'm sure you know who it is but in case living in your billionaire bubble has isolated you from history i will tell you who it is. ADOLF HITLER!!!!!
I'm not sure who grafittied the image of the architect of Blitzkrieg and the Korean War-aliens? Space Nazis from the future? Banksy with a special laser etcher?
But to have this monstrous image painted on the moon two days after Stalin's appearance is disturbing to say the least.
This is your last chance to help me with some new photo gear or I will be passing my findings on to NASA.
Good day (OR IS IT???!!!)
Last night i was out in my garden staring at the moon. I often do this to relax after a hard days work watching the sun.
Imagine my surprise when i saw the face of former Soviet leader, Joseph Stalin, appear on the surface of our nearest celestial neighbour.
Luckily i had my camera with me at the time (i was testing whether the flash would improve the growth rate of my lawn) and managed to get a shot off and capture this cosmological phenomena.
It's not too clear but if you look very closely you can see the hero of Stalingrad and Pearl Harbor splashed like german blood across the sea of tranquility.
Anyways, what i am asking for is some money for a telescope that has a picture taking function. It shouldn't cost much-say 20.000 and then we could get to the bottom of this baffling lunar mystery.
Dear Mr Barry I got some fags from Thailand but they have horrible pictures of people with massive cheek tumours. I can barely look at them. I can't afford UK smokes as they are very dear. Can you send me some cash for fags without horror show medical photo pain on them? Cheers Malcolm
My cat, a 7 year old ginger tom named Horatio, told me last night that he had discovered the secret to cold fusion.
He was a bit vague about the details but began singing ‘Cocacabana’ by Barry Manilow and attempted to type in this website’s address on my iphone.
As you no doubt are aware the iphone’s screen isn’t very receptive to cat paws, so I need you to send funds for a laptop so he can begin his work.
I have included a drawing I made of the incident so you know that it is true. (he has big paws and is quite muscular so perhaps one of those rugged Panasonic laptops would be best)
I REALLY NEED HELP!!!!!
I have a 1997 Land Rover Discovery that just broke down and no longer works and cost way too much money to fix.
I am now forced to fight the elements like this morning in the ice cold wind by riding my bike to work. To make matters worse awhile back I was hit by a car while riding my bike and the front wheel of my bike got bent so now I have to pedal a little harder than usual.
All I'm asking for is $2993.00 to purchase a 1995 Acura Legend so I no longer have to ride my broken bike and fight the Las Vegas Nevada desert elements.
Can you please help me Barry?