It's cold but good to be back
You've got to love this
Got the new telly set up - I watch this every day and I know all the words!Drives Ivan nuts! LOL
Dear Barry mate,
I need to ask a favour. A small one, not much cash involved.
My wife has left me because of our new fridge freezer. It’s one of those so called ‘smart’ ones and she came home to find me wanking off in front of it. Myself, I can’t see the problem—i crack one out in front of all my other internet connected devices so why should this be any different?
Who cares if it hasn't got a screen and I can't even see porn. It's connected to the internet so that's what it's for right?
But she won’t come back till i buy a new old fashioned fridge (if that makes any sense) and get rid of the old one.
Now I can afford to get a hotpoint from argos but am struggling with the ten quid disposal fee. So if you give us a tenner it would sort this mess out. I think it will be cheaper than a divorce.
Greetings from the beautiful state of Nebraska! Go corn Huskers Go!
I am what you might term a ‘cat lady’. I know it is meant as an unkind term, but I cannot deny the truth of it—i am a lady who is into cats. In fact some might say my feline affection goes too far. My Ex-Husband Bob thought so when he came home early from his manager’s job at the Dairy Queen in Lincoln and caught me in bed having ‘relations’ with a ginger tom and a tawny tabby I’d picked up from the pet rescue.
I’ve since stopped my alley catting ways (plus the pet rescue took out a restraining order) and am now ready to settle down with a handsome Burmese cat, Mr Binky I found living in a dumpster. Trouble is in the United States human cat marriage is not legal. So I need a couple of million to lobby my local congressman to try and get a law passed in Washington. Please help love find a way, Barry.
If you don’t help. GO F*CK YOURSELF!
Heya Barry. I have some terrible news that is just so embarrassing! It can't be true I thought but having watched it back on my computer I can't hide the fact that I can't clap! Apparently I am part human and part dolphin. I'm depressed Barry. The only fix is specialist hypnotherapy and it costs a bomb. I'm not sure I have enough money for therapy and cope with the emotional trauma is too much. I was told it will cost a few million to fully cure me. Until then I can't be seen in any social environment for the fear of clapping is too much. Help a damsel in distress. I know you will x