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-I BEG BARRY WITH SHEKIL-

PAYPAL: LIZ.JAS@GMAIL.COM

Who is have been long held outside wishing

I find one more five dollor item I beg to live inside for the week.

I love it out there, whois in there sitting down.

I walked out of the Hemet Bank with a newspaper blue cellophane wrapping a loan copy: Just as I let in I was let down, so since I was let out I returned a spitfire and calmly rode the seat accross the parking to see laid marble with etched names' Uninterested, the same names' I remembered a small rectangular sign that read EMergenCY.

The Bissle belonging to the landlords' ol tenet for Santa Monica laid it down to me that the garage is 'off limits! I pulled Bissel out into that side room to seal it befine,the first door.ere.

In betwwen is a piece of matching carpet that each carport car owner steps upon to go into the hallway stair well into a downstairs closet that's locked.

That piece of carpet had black oil all over. So I had to mix 1/3 degreeser with tap water all day long to complete begging barry you know.

So after that I placed the big Bissle with a find that I brought from behind Walmart, a couple miles,and blocked the back of the first door.

If my severe action did not gain this E-mail to give 500,000 sheiKles than I beg you barry for five hundred thousands Man.

MIDGETBALL

v

MIDGETBALL

Barry,

As the phrase goes 'a picture tells a thousand words' and so does the one next to my beg-thousands of millions of dollars from my new sport 'Midgetball'

I want bore you with the rules or even how the game is played.

i don't need to

this sport has midgets with balls surgically attached to their heads. Which is pretty much what every healthy human on the planet wants from their athletic entertainment.

Lets get this started!

UGLY DOG REQUIRES HELP

surgery for Gary

UGLY DOG REQUIRES HELP

Dear Barry

I am in need of some money to help cheer up my dog - Gary Neville, I know it is a funny name for a dog but I am an avid Man U fan.

Gary has not been himself for a number of weeks. I have tried everything to cheer him up, including buying him new clothes and shoes, taking him to expensive restaurants and I have even bought him a Nintendo Wii. Nothing seems to work.

He is really down and I'm at my wits end.

I am thinking that plastic surgery might be the only answer.

I often hear people saying " Ugly dog" and "Ugly fat bitch" when I go to the shops. I think Gary has overheard these comments because dogs have very, very good hearing.

I am fat and ugly myself and so I know how these kind of comments hurt. I was thinking that I could get a plastic surgeon to make him look like the real Gary Neville and then the comments wouldn't be so bad.

Please send €15000 so I can get him fixed up.

If you can't send it let me know and I'll have him killed and get a cat instead.

Thank you

AALTJE, LEIDEN, NETHERLANDS

ALPHABET

New letter will mean a new world

ALPHABET

barry,

I need 20 milion US to fund my research into the 27th letter of the alphabet.

I can't say any more right now in case the Character Set Squad from Microsoft or the Keyboard Association Of North America are watching.

This is going to be big barry, bigger than anyone can imagine. maybe bigger than when the letter 'z' was discovered in Tutenkhamun's tomb.

don't delay, get in touch today

Lester contact me @

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

FOOTWEAR APOCALYPSE

evil shoes

FOOTWEAR APOCALYPSE

Dear Barry,

I have an urgent funding request.

I need 6 million dollars so I can start a worldwide campaign to abolish the worldwide plague on humanity that are buckles on shoes.

Invented by notorious Elizabethan necromancer John Dee, who designed them when his left foot became possessed after a Halloween ritual went awry, no good has ever come from the placement of the buckle (or the devil’s fasteners as I call them) on footwear.

They are simply cursed.

For example, look what happened to the Indians after they encountered the buckle booted puritans. Or the victims of pirates forever crushed beneath the clasp locked footwear of long-haired privateers.

Over the centuries many notable people have tried to warn us of the dangers of buckle, but such is its evil that it could only be referred to obliquely or through nonsense rhymes.

Take the children’s nursery rhyme ‘Buckle My Shoe’

‘One, two Buckle my shoe

Three, four, Knock at my door

This originally read,

“One, two, Buckle on my shoe,

Three, four, It opens Satan’s door.

Need more proof? Well if you send me the money I will tell you the knowledge that has shaken men’s souls to their very core and the buckles off their boots.

Together if we try very hard, we can rid the world of this insanity in one great big boiling vat of molten buckle fat.

Yours truly,

Jans Skoenveter

PS belt buckles and buckles on bags are to my knowledge safe.