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PHOTOGRAPHY TOO IMPORTANT TO IGNORE

but you will

PHOTOGRAPHY TOO IMPORTANT TO IGNORE

Barry,

You’ve ignored my last two pictures of the lunar events. But you won’t ignore this one though will you?

I don’t know what it means but I have a theory-I believe that Chairman Mao, the genius behind the Manhatten Project, joined Stalin to fight Hitler off the moon.

Finding they couldn’t beat him in low gravity combat, the two called upon holder of the secrets of the ark and three times Oscala, FL Crazy Golf champion, Indiana Jones to deliver the knock out blow.

Indiana obliged and what we see now is like the end of Return Of the Jedi-our saviours smiling down on us.

Let’s hope this is an end to the saga.

LOSING MY RELIGION

Literally

LOSING MY RELIGION

Hi Barry,

I lead a cult down here in South America and lately my devotees have been slipping quietly away from the compound at night and disappearing into the jungle.

So, I’m asking you to send money so that I can electrify the fence around our camp to prevent any more desertions.

It shouldn’t take more than a couple of hundred dollars which for a man of your resources is nothing.

Yours in salutations

Sun Fuhrer Max

CASH FOR REPAIR

my gas one has gone

Hello barry,

My cooker has broken down and needs repairing.

The repairman says it will cost nearly as much to repair as buying a new one. repair.

what he doesn't know is that i was faking it was broke. it doesn't need repairing-i removed the gas line from the back so the repairman would visit to repair and so i could watch him repair. repair.

Thanks

I AM RALPH, THE KING OF THE BEGGARS

Keen hobbyists are ruining the business

I am Ralph, King of the Beggars,

I have begged this laptop to issue you with a cease and desist order on behalf of real world beggars everywhere.

I have begged around the world, I have begged my way into things, begged my way out of things, begged on my knees, begged at gunpoint, I've even begged a banana from the Sultan of Brunei. I'm the best there is.

I'm wearing one of Michael Jackson's stage outfits that I begged on very productive begging holiday in Los Angeles.

You see, Barry, begging is an art, a beautiful game, practiced by dedicated and highly motivated professionals not something to mess with.

I am concerned that your begging site opens up begging to keen hobbyist beggars, amateurs with no idea about the art. This web based begging is bad for the begging business and I fear will lead to declining begging standards.

I am begging you Barry please take this site down now before you ruin begging for all honest beggars everywhere and the true art of begging is lost for future generations.

 

Ralph, King of The beggars

KIDNAP

aliens have my baby

KIDNAP

Alright Barry,

I’ll have to be quick-I’m off down the shops but i thought i'd drop you a line and let you know that aliens have kidnapped my baby.

The CCTV at my house captured the aliens during the snatch so if you could get one of your millionaires friends or use your software expertise to track down the extra terrestrials that’s be great. They also took a pet rat.

Don’t be too quick tho, I’m saving a fortune on diapers and baby food. Two weeks should be a good time for me to get her back.

They can keep the pet rat in the spirit of intergalactic friendship.

Nice one,

Thereza